A life need not be long-lived, for it to have been meaningful.


If you google what to say to someone who has lost a baby, you find many links on what NOT to say but so few helpful links on what TO say. Let's change that.

On October 2nd, Arika Mueller, Aly Fellenz, and I did a free shoot for women who have lost their babies during pregnancy or infancy. In all honestly, I had no idea what I was going to do when I first started this project. I just knew no one did anything, nothing would change. In 2021, I tried to find women willing to share their story but my search was basically fruitless. So, I tried again. This year, I received an overwelming number of applicants for this free shoot. So, I knew we had to do this big. At first, my goal was "what is something that helped you through your grief?" but that is SUCH a broad question! It could be as simple as wine and netflix to as complex as the doctor holding you tight as you bawled into her chest. So, I decided to narrow my questions down....

What is something someone SAID that helped you in your hardest times of grief?

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.


What is something someone DID that helped you in your hardest times of grief?

How very quietly you tiptoed into the world, only for a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your tiny footprints left on our hearts.

Dorothy Ferguson

I told them to bring something significant to them...

From stuffed animals, photos, and ultrasounds to ashes.

... We may be separated today, but nothing will ever change the fact that you made me a mom


For those who didn't know, I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2016.

I was 12ish weeks along, it was a full back and forth about whether I had a miscarriage or not as my blood results told me I was pregnant.. but ultrasounds did not. It was an incredibly emotional situation for our family. At that time, we had a six month old baby and were dealing with this heartache. Every year on the anniversary of the day we found out he or she was growing in the wrong place, I wallow in self pity. But, thanks to this shoot, I think this year will be different. The thing that helped me the most I think was this shoot. We need to normalize talking about it. We need to normalize that THIS HAPPENS. It is horrible. It is some of the worst pain you can imagine. But it happens and we need to be able to talk about it openly.